When Time and Confusion Collide

Cautious Note to Self:

When one finds a crumb of burnt brownie on the couch, take care to remember that one has also been lax in the 'No shoes on the couch' rule.

I still say it was a burnt brownie crumb.

Please be more cautious next time,

--Self.

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I just watched Treasure Planet. As soon as it was done I wanted to write fanfiction for it, and I still do, but I want to watch it again just to overdose on the characters and such a little. After all, it's hard to really, really be sure you have them down right unless you've memorized more than just a few quotes to get their speech patterns down, no?

On another point, it's wierd how easily today can go from 'fine' to 'urgh' with just a bit of concentration. It's like if I concentrate just the slightest, I can summon up feelings of anxiety, dread, vertigo, and even impending doom. Once I start, of course, the situation becomes one of 'there is TOTALLY no pink elephant here', and it takes some pretty careful tap-dancing to get myself calmed down again.

Could this be somehow useful? To be able to control my own emotions in such a way that they're absolutely sincere while still keeping my head thinking logically, and then being able to calm myself down afterwards? Deception doesn't really get anyone anywhere that I particularly want to be, but if I don't look for some way to make this work for me then it'll be a weakness instead of an advantage. I might be an actress or something someday, but I don't think I'd want to do something so absolutely stressful five or six times in a day just to get some good footage. I want to throw myself into whatever jobs I get into in the future, but I don't want to die inside because of it.

So, does anyone else think I should keep an extra wide eye open for super-secret-ninjas that inexplicably need my services someday?